“” Everybody loves good people. everybody hates bad people is one of those naïve assumptions we all too easily settle for. We have been trained from childhood to try to be good, not because of the value of goodness itself, but to receive favour. We were warned that if we are bad, we would be struck off people’s good books! Thankfully, this is not true, because nobody deserves to be hated by all. In fact, nobody deserves anyone’s hatred.
The happiest people we have seen in the television and media, are celebrities. We imagine those popular people, film stars and millionaires with their flashy triumphant smiles are happy because everybody loves them. We draw another untrue equation that becoming popular equals being loved. Here are four myths about popularity
1) Popularity does not mean that everyone loves you. The most popular people often have the worst enemies. As much as they are popular, there will always be some who vehemently hate them. Jealousy is a rather prevalent sickness in our world. The truth is no one can be loved by everybody. Peace of mind is realizing that not everyone has to approve us. To expect everyone to love us is to want to have a super-God status, because even God is not loved and appreciated by everyone. We need this truth dinned into our heads so that we do not lose our peace of mind.
2) Popularity is not at all an indicator of the goodness of character. There are some good persons, and also some bad persons who have attained great popularity. Saint Mother Teresa was very popular. The people of Kolkata and many from around the world adored her and tried to emulate her. She used this popularity to convey the message of Christ. We also know Hitler was so popular, and adored in his country by so many. What a curse he turned out to be! A person who looks good on the outside, could have their hearts infested with pretensions. As the word of God reminds us, “Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord alone looks on the heart” (1 Sam 16:7).
3) Popularity does not feature in the vast list of God’s blessings. God is generous. Everything in this world is God’s blessing -friendship, talents, success… but popularity is not a promise of God.
On the contrary, we have an astounding revelation in the gospels. Jesus says, “You will be hated by everyone because of me” (Mat 10:22). Again the Lord reminds us, “If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you” (Jn 15:18,19).
4) Lastly, popularity can lead to slavery. When we are popular, people have varied expectations of us, and could pressurize us to please them. If we get intoxicated by popularity, we will become people pleasers. When people adore stars, they can at any moment feel disappointed and to the same extent hate them. Does this mean that we must live in fear of popularity? Let us look at the Lord. Jesus was tremendously popular. Thousands flocked to him. There were times they tried to forcibly make him king. The gospels also reveal there was always a group that hated him so intensely that they were constantly looking for a way to kill him. Whatever He did, there were a few people who would call Him by the worst names a friend of prostitutes, a drunkard, a glutton, and even as devil. Jesus was hated but the Lord was not affected by the hatred of people. Whether people loved him or not, He continued to heal and bless. He did not heal because the crowds would. cheer Him. He did not stop healing because the crowds turned against Him. Jesus was unaffected by the hatred of the multitudes. If we are afraid of being hated by anyone, we cannot live. There is no human in this world who does something and is still not hated. The real goal for us is not how to get popular, but how to stand firm when we hated and opposed. It is delusional to expect adulation, and good will from everyone. Here are few truths that will set us free to live by God’s terms, free of human opinions.
Nobody’s hatred can define your destiny. Your destiny solely depends on the goodwill of God which is abundant. Jesus lived with opposition. He was appointed by the Father God and His mission was successful only because He remained faithful to God. The same holds good for us. God does not consult anyone regarding our destiny. It is His dream, more than ours, that we should live life in all its fullness. The quality of our life, our success of our mission, depends on our connect with God.
Do not be overwhelmed by the evil intent of others. God promises us His protection “I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you” (Lk 10:19). If we obsess about the ill will of others, there is a real (and the only) danger that we could slip into a paranoia and imagine that everybody hates us.
“Love your enemy.” This is what Jesus wants from us. When we resent those who hate us. we allow their sickness of hatred to infect us. The enemy’s goal is achieved. Hence scripture exhorts us, “Do not be overcome by evil; overcome evil with good” (Rom 12:21). This does not mean we must force our friendship on anyone, but it needs us to bless them with our hearts
Maturity is giving people permission to be who they are. We cannot interfere in other people’s opinions about us. Their hatred stems from an unreasonable insecurity and inner woundedness.
Do not judge yourself by the opinions of haters. When someone hates us, we grieve, “What have I done to deserve this? What is so despicable about me? The fact is nobody has the justification to hate. Do not ever try to enter the mind of a hater. It is equal to stepping into hell.
Find your safe space. To stand strong in the face of opposition is very important, if we are to do any good in life. For this we need a safe space we need to be firmly rooted in a love relationship. Ensure that you receive the absolute support of one good friend – it’s the one friend who will cheer you out of your blues, who will support you through thick and thin, who will be your greatest morale booster, who will not compromise on what is just. This one friend’s name is Jesus. Cultivate this friendship. We cannot face opposition, unless we are protected by the experience of unconditional love. Jesus is one specialist for such love. Intimacy with God is the font of strength for our hearts. When we are popular, and when the tides turn against, this friendship will be our refuge and joy. When we are rooted in this friendship, we will walk on the water and we will sing in the storms.