Jesus refers to the Holy Spirit as “the promise of the Father” (Lk 24:49). The Father loves us so much that He sent His only Son to save us (Jn 3:16). The Holy Spirit makes salvation a tangible experience for us in our present circumstances. As we are anointed by the Holy Spirit, love, joy, and peace prevails in our hearts, flowing into our family relationships.
“Pursue Love” (1 Cor 14:1).
A rather elderly man was traveling in a train. It was early evening, and he looked visibly anxious. He kept looking at his watch, and rubbing his hands together. He would tap the handle by the side of the seat. Every now and then he would get up, pace around a bit, and then return to his seat. One of his co passengers gently asked him, “Sir, you look very disturbed. Is there anything I can do to help you?”Pointing to his watch, he replied, “My friend, look at this. It is already 4.45 pm. This train is so slow. I will not reach home before ten past five. Usually I take the earlier train. For some reason that train did not come today. I cannot understand why this train is so slow.I am so late.” The co-passenger enquired if there was some urgent business meeting that he was going to be late for. He replied, “No, my appointment is with my wife. In fact, it is a promise. On the day of our wedding, I promised her, however busy I get, I would be there for her. I specifically did tell her I would be home at 5 o’clock that we can prepare dinner and spend the evening together. EverydayI would somehow be there, but todayI’m so late. Added to all this, my wife, she now has Alzheimer’s. She cannot remember a thing now.” The man beside him tried to console him, “If she has Alzheimer’s, and she cannot remember anything, even if you are a little late, it would not matter.” Immediately,
the elderly man explained, “Oh, it matters all the more. Now that she does not remember anything, I should take more care to remember. I cannot forgive myself. This is the first time I am failing her in this promise I made to her. At other occasions when I have failed her, I would ask pardon, and she would forgive me. Now, even if I say I am sorry, she would not know what that means. She would simply smile. This makes me all the more sad.” His eyes were brimming with tears. This man really understood the art of loving. It is forgiving and accepting the unacceptable, loving what is unlovable. Mistakes were made over the years, yet he kept striving to honour the promise, even when the other would not recognise it. The promise of love he cherished for it brought warmth to his heart.
“He is our peace, who has made us both one” (Eph 2:14)
This is the only way to live our family life. If one does not strive to honour the call of love, relationships deteriorate into blame-fixing, a match of endless arguments and
accusations, making family life a bitter experience.
At Cana, the venue of the wedding that Jesus attended with His disciples (Jn 2), there was a gloomy forecast of a grand wedding celebration turning into an ugly and doomed conflict. Whoever was responsible for the arrangements of the wedding had made a serious miscalculation. The wine was running short. Wine was central to the solemn Jewish wedding celebration. It was a sign of the quality of the marriage. If there was no wine, all would conclude that this was a sign of doom. Moreover there would be bitter conflicts, and accusations. The most joyful moment of the lives of the couple would become painfully ugly. It is here that Mother Mary sensing the impending disaster, alerts the Lord, seeking his intervention, “They have no wine” (Jn 2:3). Jesus was hesitant, yet His mother’s response was of faith, as she directs the family to obedience and trust: “Do whatever He tells you” (Jn 2:5). The first miracle in the ministry of Jesus is performed, and significantly it was for the salvation of a family.
Had Mother Mary not intervened, the blessed occasion would have been turned to an ominous experience of accusations and divisions. This explains why Jesus wanted Mother Mary to be in every family.
Jesus, while dying on the cross of Calvary, entrusts His mother and beloved disciple to each other’s care. Immediately after this, the scripture mentions, “And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home” (Jn 19:27). Have we heeded the words of our Lord, and taken the Mother into our homes? The presence of Mother Mary in the family heralds peace. She will, as she did in Cana, recognize our needs, and bring them to the Lord. The tenderness of the heavenly mother’s presence will enable us to be united in prayer, paving the way for Christ to intervene. Situations of conflict and bitterness will be averted. In our journey as a family, there are bound to be mistakes. Each time something goes wrong, we blame the other. Distrust, anger, and bitterness begin to mark our relations. We give opportunity to Satan (Eph 4:27). He comes in to “destroy, kill, and plunder” (Jn 10:10). Today in our homes, there are problems. We pray and yet the financial situations don’t change, sickness and failure continue to dog us. The Scripture reveals the reason: “See, the Lord’s hand is not too short to save, nor His ear too dull to hear. Rather, your iniquities have been barriers between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from youso that He does not hear” (Is 59:1,2). We are reminded, “Nothing is impossible for God” (Jer 32:27). Why then do our families perish? Why has life become hell? We fight. Paradise is lost. This is definitely not the model that God purposed for the family. God wanted every family to be in peace. After moulding paradise, God created Adam and Eve to live in that idyllic setting of peace and perfection. Then paradise was lost. The sequence of events is described in the book of Genesis. Adam and Eve committed sin. separating themselves from God. God had not distanced himself from the sinful human. He came callingAdam by name. God was ready for a dialogue. Adam
could not acknowledge his mistake. In contrast to the Prodigal Son who falls into the Father’s merciful arms confessing his sin. Adam blames Eve. He does not even call her by name, but refers to her as”The woman you gave me” (Gen 3:12). His accusations were factually right, but he had shut her out of his heart. This is what blame-game is. Paradise was lost. That is exactly what happens in our families. When there is a failure, or a problem, we find fault with each other. Our hearts are separated. Within one house, we live as islands. We do not run to God.
Here is where we see how precious the intervention of Mother Mary was, in that she directed the family of Cana to turn to Jesus. There was a mistake, but instead of that splitting the family, it became the venue of the manifestation of the glory of God. We need to learn to come together in the moments of our mistakes, praying and confessing our failures, instead of blaming the other.
I am reminded of the testimony of St John Neumann, the first bishop saint of USA. In his autobiography, he recalls the first lie he uttered. When his dad asked him if he was responsible for a certain mistake, he lied saying he knew nothing of it. John’s dad knew it was a lie. When the boy looked into his dad’s eyes, he noticed that they were filling up with tears. Wracked by guilt, shame and fear, Johnrushed to a corner. The Dad searched him out, held him close, andconsoled him saying, “John, you are my dearson. I wept not because you spoke a lie. I realized
how much I had failed God. God gave you to me in my arms as a little innocent angel. Look at what I have done. I have made you a liar. It is my mistake. I am sorry, my son.” The son and the dad held on to each other and shed tears. John writes “I could never speak a lie after that. Whenever there was a temptation to lie, the memory of my father’s tears held me back. Wherever there is confession, saints are made. Wherever there is blaming, the devil is right there.
The miracle of Cana has eternal significance for the salvation of families. When the water was turned into wine, the stewardtasting it, calls the bridegroom, asking him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now” (Jn 2:10). This wine of the higher quality, in fact refers to the Holy Spirit. When there is a failure, and it is brought in prayer to Jesus, the Lord pours out the Holy Spirit. In this anointing, the circumstance is transformed. Love is poured into the hearts. The family experiences the glory of salvation.
“Love one another, as I have loved you” (Jn 13:34).
I was in Australia for a convention during the time when the deadly bushfires were ravaging many parts of the country. After the mission was over, the bishop took me to visit a few families in his diocesethat were affected by the fire. Where one house was burnt down, the elderly couple who were residing there came to greet us. They related their experience. Though there were warnings issued, they were quite sure they would not be affected since the fire was raging far away. However, there was a very strong wind, and a flame of fire was seen flying towards their house. They rushed out, grabbing just the crucifix, for in a few moments one side of the house was already on fire. “We had in our hands only this iron crucifix. When we reached outside, and turned around, we saw the entire house was on fire.” He then shared, “Father, a lifetime of earning has become ashes. However, I have my wife,” and looking at the crucifix, he
continued, “and my God.” He paused, looking up at me, he said, “Ultimately Father, that is all I truly have, my God, and my wife.”
As tears flowed down his eyes, he continued to testify, “I am a hot-tempered man. My wife too has a problem with anger. Often we fight. When we were young, we used to have bitter fights. One thing we did faithfully, right from those days, was to pray holding this crucifix, before going to bed. We would touch the wound of Jesus on His side, and repeat His prayer, “Father, forgive them. They do not know what they are doing. “When Jesus prayed, it did hurt. We did not understand fully the value of this ritual. Often my wife would cry, and I would wipe her tears. It would hurt, yet with Jesus we forgave each other, and slept in peace every night. The most precious thing in our love relationship is this crucifix. It is from this crucifix that we learned the art
of loving. Our children areall settledin different places. They are all happy. Now, we are just the two of us here.” They both looking at the crucifix, shed tears holding each other. Once again he repeated, : “Everything we owned is turned to ashes. We have each other, we have God. That is all we have. That is all what we need.” I was deeply touched by the wisdom of this couple. They had made a clear choice all along to hold on to what is the best in life. God has placed us in families, that we may partake of His Divine love. In this love is the very meaning of life. When we treasure each other, drawing from the love of God, we will experience that “love covers a multitude of sins” (I Pet 4:8).
Prayer
Holy Spirit, teach us to love one another, despite our failings. May every failure be the ground where your glory descends with healing. May the love in our homes flourish, through every experience life brings. Inspire us, Holy Spirit, to reach out and touch the wounds of Jesus. Fill our hearts with love and anoint us to remain faithful and trusting in the Lord. Amen.